My Letter from Yellen
Whoopee! My problems are solved.
“On Saturday, February 25, 2017 8:00 PM, Federal Reserve Bank <email@example.com> wrote:
“Federal Reserve Bank
20th St. and Constitution Ave. N.W
Mail Stop K300
Washington, D.C. 20551
“Your payment files from three (3) different banks, Natwest Bank of London, Central Bank of Nigeria and Bank of America was compiled and submitted to my desk this morning for review. The total sum owed to you by the 3 banks mentioned above was sum up to the tune of US$15,500,000.00 (Fifteen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars).
“Now the fund has been totally lodged in one particular Escrow account (non deductible) here in the Federal Reserve Bank on your name, while waiting for accreditation to your personal bank account in any part of the world.
“Meanwhile, after due scrutiny and verification, I confirmed that you have fulfilled all the necessary obligations that will enable the release of your payment to you, but yet your payment was not released to you due to one flimsy excuses or the other from the Bank officials in charge of your payment, because they had the intention of diverting your funds to their private accounts in order to satisfy their selfish interest.
“You are however lucky that we the management of the US Federal Reserved Bank detected their evil plans and therefore call for the submission of your payment file to us so we can personally handle the payment assignment to ensure that you receive your funds accordingly.
“Now, all modalities regarding your fund release has been put in place here in the Reserve Bank of America, thus, your funds has been made ready for transfer in our sophisticated macro transfer system, what we need from you now is to provide to us the bank account of your choice which you want us to transfer your funds so we can expedite action for the accreditation of your funds into your account immediately.
“Below are the information needed for now for your transfer.
“1. Personal Details:
Direct Mobile Number:
Passport Copy, ID card or DL:
“2. Banking Details:
“Note: If you prefer to receive your funds in form of a Visa Card, we could load and ship your Visa Card to your address which will permit you a daily withdrawal limit of US$3000 or write a draft check which can be deposited in any bank and send to you.
“In anticipating for your urgent cooperation
Janet Louise Yellen
Federal Reserved Bank”
While I don't want to compare the stock market to these miscreants, I consider that the Friday reversal of almost a full day of dropping prices at the 58th minute of the last hour of trading is almost as suspicious as the above email. The result was an 11th straight record high for the Dow-Jones Industrial Average, based on a rise of 0.05%. This is something less than an epic winning streak.
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